Thoughts

Wish You Were Here

Wish you were here.. My only wish on my 20th birthday.. Even though you're not here with us, you always make us feel that we're not alone. Thank you because even if you are no longer with us, you always make us feel that you're still alive...

Sana Maging Bata Nalang Ulit Ako

• Sana maging bata nalang ulit ako. 'Yung walang iniisip na problema. ’Yung puro laro lang iniisip. 'Yung walang pakialam sa paligid niya. At higit sa lahat 'yung wala pang expectations at responsibilities. Kaso walang forever eh. Lumilipas ang oras. Kailangan mag move forward. Kailangang mag try ng bago. Kailangang umalis sa comfort zone and continue improving yourself.. That's life. If you want to grow. Take the risk..

Kung Maibabalik Ko Lang Ang Kahapon

• Kung maibabalik ko lang ang kahapon. Itatama ko ang lahat ng mga mali ko. Gagawin ko ang mga bagay na dapat ay ginawa ko. Sasabihin ko ang mga salitang dapat ay sinabi ko. At higit sa lahat. Sana naiparamdam ko ang pagmamahal ko sa mga taong nagmamahal 'din sa akin. Eh 'di sana wala akong pinagsisisihan ngayon. Pero posible ba 'yun? Ang hindi ka magkamali at hindi makaramdam ng pagsisisi? Imposible. Naniniwala naman ako na lahat ay nagyayari dahil may dahilan. May dahilan kung bakit mali ang desisyon ko. May dahilan kung bakit hindi ko nagawa ang mga dapat ay ginawa at sabihin ang mga salitang noon pa man ay dapat naibulalas na. At higit sa lahat may dahilan kung bakit hindi ko minahal ang mga taong nagmamahal sa akin. Mga dahilan na siguro ay makalatulong sa'yo, mga dahilan na ikaw naman 'din ang makikinabang balang araw. Sa buhay kung hindi mo pa naranasan ang magkamali, ibigsabihin hindi ka umuunlad. Nananatili ka lang sa posisyon na meron ka ngayon. Walang forever. Itanong mo sa sarili mo kung masaya ka ba at kuntento ka na sa mga bagay na meron ka ngayon sa paligid mo. Higit mo pang tuklasin ang mga bagay na akala mo hindi mo kaya. Dahil sa "What if's" na 'yan nasisira ang lahat. Normal lang naman ang magkamali. Dahil dito ka susubukin kung gaano ka katatag upang harapin ang bawat pagsubok na nakaharang sa daan mo upang magtagumpay. Kailangang matuto ka sa bawat pagkakamali mo at sa pagkakamali ng iba. 'Wag mo nang hayaang mangyari sa'yo bago ka matuto. "Learn from others experience's" mga katagang binitawan ni Sir Victor (isang public speaker) sa seminar na dinaluhan ko. Kung ayaw mong mangyari sa'yo, iwasto mo na hanggang maaga pa. Pero kung nagkamali ka pa 'din, ayos lang 'yan. Dahil ibigsabihin lang niyan ay dapat mo pang pahalagahan ng sobra ang mga bagay na meron ka pa ngayon. Dahil hindi natin alam kung kailan sila babawiin sa atin. Dahil hindi sa lahat ng bagay merong "Second Chance".

Changing Yourself Just To Be Like By Everyone Is Just Like Pretending To Be Someone Else

• Changing yourself just to be like by everyone is just like pretending to be someone else. Nagpapanggap para magustuhan ng mga tao sa paligid mo. Ayaw mong magmukhang loser at loner. Sabay lagi sa uso. Pa famous. Dahil ayaw mong mareject at iignore. Takot ka na hindi ka nila tanggapin at layuan ka dahil naiiba ka. Natural lang naman na lahat tayo ay magkakaiba. We have our own uniqueness. You don't need to wear your mask to get the attention of everyone. Makukuha mo ang atensyon nila gamit ang sarili mong paraan. Learn to accept and appreciate what you have right now. Because some people are wishing to be in your position while you are wishing also to be in other's situation. Hindi mo kailangang ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo sa mga tao na hindi ka deserve. Hindi mo kailangang mainsicure sa kanila. Iba ka. Iba siya. 'Wag mong ikumpara ang sarili mo sa kanila. Merong mga katangian na tinataglay mo na wala sila. Quits lang lahat. Ang problema lang hindi mo kayang tanggapin ang sarili mo. Paano ka tatanggapin nang ibang tao kung pati ang sarili mo niloloko mo. Parang ang dating 'nun ay niloloko mo na 'din sila dahil nagtatago ka sa likod ng maskara mo. "Love yourself first, before they accept you." Mahalin mo ang sarili mo. Ikaw lang ang makakagawa niyan. Isipin mo. Masaya ka ba na may tinatago ka sa ibang tao? Masaya ka ba na 'di mo naipapakita ang totoong ikaw? Masaya ka ba na kinahihiya mo ang pinanggalingan mo? Ang hindi mo alam. Habang kinahihiya mo sila sa harapan ng ibang tao, sila naman ay taas noo na ipinagmamalaki ka sa iba. Hindi natin kailangang baguhin ang sarili natin upang magustuhan nila tayo. Hindi naman tayo nabuhay para sa kanila. Hindi mo kailangan ang attention, opinyon, at presensya nang mga taong ayaw sayo dahil hindi naman ito makakatulong sayo. Panggulo lang sila. All you have to do is to burn that mask. And be yourself. You don't need to hide your true personality to everyone. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."

No One Can Drag Me Down

No one can drag me down. "If your are destined in higher place, people may try you to put down. But you will still reach your destiny." Quatations na nabasa ko noong Elementary palang ako sa tig-10 pesos na babasahin na binili pa sa akin ni nanay. Myths and Legends ata ang pamagat 'nung manipis na libro. If I am not mistaken. Ang title nang kwento kung saan ko nabasa ang mga salitang iyon ay "The Jars". Simula noong nabasa ko 'yun. Hindi ko na siya nakalimutan. Nakakarelate kasi ako. Totoo naman diba? May mga tao kasi na hindi masaya kapag nagtagumpay ka sa isang bagay. Sa halip hihilahin ka nila pababa. At iyon ang magiging dahilan nila upang lumigaya. Ang makita kang miserable. Ang makita kang lugmok. Pero nagpapasalamat na 'din ako sa mga taong ganun ang pananaw sa buhay. Dahil kung hindi nila ginawa 'yun, walang magiging matatag at walang magiging malakas para harapin ang bukas. Kung wala ang mga problema. Hindi mo maaapreciate ang mga bagay na
darating pa sa'yo. Mahirap ang saya na walang lungkot. At mahirap ang puro ginhawa na walang hirap. Madapa 'man ako, tityakin kong babangon at tatayo ako para harapin ang hamon ng buhay. Walang makapagpapabagsak sa'yo hangga't nasa puso mo Siya. Never say never. Never give up. Do everything if you really want to achieve it. No one can put you down as long as you're with Him in all the battle of your life.

When Your Face And Height Doesn't Match Your Age

• rochellestar0806When your face and height doesn't match your age. It always happened to me. Especially those persons I meet for the first time. 'Yung hindi tugma 'yung age mo sa height at itsura mo. Napapagkamalan ka tuloy laging hayskul/elementary/bata. Sa bahay, ako ang panganay pero ako 'yung pinaka maliit sa aming magkakapatid. Pinakamatangkad samin 'yung bunso kong kapatid sunod 'yung gitna. Kaya kapag may magpapakilala, ako lagi napagkakamalang bunso at 'yung gitna napagkakamalang panganay dahil daw kasi sa eye glasses niya, nagmumukha siyang matured. Girl labo kase eh. Peace tayo @annesherlie01 .. Advantage o disadvantage ba ang ganitong sitwasyon? Hindi ko 'din alam. Natatawa nalang ako lagi kapag may nakakasita 'nun. Hahaha.. 😝😝 The day before yesterday. May nagsurvey samin. Tinanong ako 'nung ale. "Ilang taon ka na?" "Mag 20 na po." Sagot ko. Tapos ang sagot niya. "Hala. Akala ko 14 ka lang." Tawa nalang ako eh. 😣😣 'Nung nagpainstall kame ng internet. Tinanong ako ni Manong. "Anong year ka na Ne?" "3rd year na po." Sagot ko. "Ahh. 3rd year highschool." Sabi niya. "Hindi po. 3rd year college na po ako. Sa BSU. BSBA po course ko." Sagot ko. "Ahhh. Sorry Ne. Ang bata mo kasi tignan, 'kala ko hayskul ka palang." Ahahaha.. Tawa nalang ulit. XD 😂😂😂 Sa office 'nung nag O-OJT palang kame, height na lagi napapansin samin. Pang anong school daw height namin dahil pantay-pantay lang daw kame. XD 😆😆 Walang advantage ang ganitong sitwasyon. O kung meron man ay 'yun 'yung lagi ka nalang matatawa. Disadvantage. Hindi mo abot 'yung safety hand drills sa mga public transportation. Hindi ka papasukin sa mall hangga't 'di mo pinapakita ID mo. Pag inutusan ako ni Nanay bumili ng sigarilyo paninda namin 'di ako papayagang magpurchase kasi menor de edad daw ako. Sa public transportation ulit. Kapag siksikan sa Bus at Train ikaw lagi maiipit ng mas malalaki sa'yo. At ngayong may curfew na sa mga minors at mag papasukan na. Plano naming magkakaibigan magdala lagi ng NSO Birth Certificate patunay na nasa legal age na kame. 😜😜 Para 'di kame hulihin at makulong. XD Dahil kung hindi namin gagawin, wala na sira na kinabukasan namin. XD. OA. Wahaha.. 😣😣

• Saan ba ako nagmumukhang bata? Sa itsura ko o sa height ko? Mas convincing siguro 'yung dahil sa height ko.. Wahaha.. 😥😥😥

Count Down For The Last Teen Days..
Last Day Of Being A Nine Teen..

Good Bye Nine TEEN

Life is never easy. And today, I overcome my 19th year. Maraming nangyari. May masaya. May malungkot. May mga maling desisyon ngunit natutunan ang leksyon. May mga taong nawala na kahit kailan hindi makakalimutan. May mga bagay na nangyari na kahit kailan hindi mawawalan ng puwang sa puso't isip ko. May mga nagsara ng pinto ngunit may nagbukas naman ng bintana. May nagkaaway ngunit nagkaayos. At higit sa lahat may mga bagay na nawala na kahit kailan 'di na mababalikan pa. Ang dami kong hindi makakalimutan sa 19th year. Sampung pangyayari na hindi ko makakalimutan. Ayon sa pagkakasunod-sunod. (1). Naging AlDub Fan ako sa loob nang tatlong buwan. Hahaha.. Hindi ako makapaniwala. XD (2). Next is 'yung nagpacheck up si Kapatid at natakot siya sa result 'yun pala false lang. Hindi totoo. Pinilit pasiyahin sa 17th Bday niya. Dama ko lungkot niya ei. XD 😂😂 (3). 'Yung unexpected na nangyari noong October 24, 2015, miss you Lola. (4). Nakabili ako ng first ever android phone ko mula sa ipon ko. Yownn.. Sulit ipon. (5). 'Yung mag nagbalik galing sa nakaraan. Nagbalik nga siya ngunit may nawala nang tatlo. Hindi na siya naintay. (6). Nakilala ko 'yung pinsan kong may lahing Pakistan. Hello Irfan. 😆 (7). 'Yung feasibility study na may defense. Nalagasan ako ng pera dahil diyan. Nalagasan 'din ako ng tulog.. Haha.. (8). Nakapundar ulit kame ng mga gamit/nagkautang. XD (9). 'Yung achievement ni bunso. Best in Arts. Sayang lang hindi siya nakapasok sa Top 10 nila. Nagfocus sa Arts ei. Achievement niya. Achievement ng lahat. Taon-taon nalang pinapaakyat si Nanay sa Stage. XD This School Year kaya? Hahaha.. (10). Pinning Ceremony for OJT's. At 'yung nag intern ako sa Development Bank of the Philippines sa Office of the Head. Naiimagine ko pa hanggang ngayon. 'Di ko akalaing kinaya namin 'yung biyahe sa loob ng 32 days. At ngayon gusto naming bumalik ulit para sariwain. Haha. Kailan kaya..?? S O O N . . 😂😂😂 Sa loob ng isang taon maraming pwedeng mangyari. At bukas ang aking ikalawang dekada. Tanda ko na. XD Hindi na ako "teen". Tapos na ang 19.. 20 naman.. Handa na ako kung ano man ang dadating na pagsubok. Nandiyan naman Siya para gabayan at tulungan ako. GoodBye.. ✋

I'm ready for more battles!

My Poems Assemblage #2

Waste Memories

I thought you’re the perfect one

But you did something wrong I thought you’ve never done

I got hurt on what you said

It makes my heart to bleed

Memories we shared together has been lost

Didn’t recognize its cost

You throw away everything about us

Don’t worry this will be the last thing I will discuss

From now on I’ll forget everything

But not the pain you bring

I thought there are forever in friendship

But I realized forever only found in worship

Let’s Continue

We’ve been together for so long

Seems like our friendship are going strong

All the good moments we have shared together

We fight even the bad weather

But one day, we had a fight

It makes me feel fright

It’s not easy to forget all we had

I want to be your friend ‘till our grad

Let’s fix this mess before it’s too late

Let’s forget about this hate

Let’s continue what we have begun

Let’s do a lot of fun. 

Strange Feelings

Why I am feelin’ this way?

Seems like I don’t know what to say

I want to see you every day

In my life I want you to stay

This is the first time I act like this

Before I sleep it was you that I miss

I was thinking of you all the time

But all I have to do is…

          ...to hide this strange feelings just like I commit a crime.

The Last Good Bye

You mean a lot to me at first

But as time elapsed its getting worst

The love I feel for you is starting to lost

Just like it doesn’t have any cost

It’s all your fault in the first place

You made me feel this, just like I don’t wanna’ see your face

I confront you with this sentiments

And I asked you for some betterments

You’ve changed

But my feelings for you remain unchanged

This heart can’t love you anymore

I can’t give back the love I did before

I want to end this relationship

It’s no longer working, all you courtship

Until one day, you made your last GOOD BYE

By hearing those words, I didn’t ask why..

‘Till The End

From the day I was born

As my parents you have sworn

To witness the first word I speak

To change my diaper when its leak

To witness me to learn from crawling to walking

To make milk for me when I’m crying

To give me a nice and comfortable shelter

To send me to school to make my life better

To guide me in the right path

To help me to solve the math

To teach me on what’s good from what is not

To show to me all you’ve got

To accept me even if I’m not perfect

To be overprotect

To love me unconditionally

To be with you eternally

From the day I become the person you want me to be

As your daughter I have sworn that I should be..

There to tell the happy moments you can’t recall

There to help you stand when you fall

Your guide when you lose your sense of sight

There when you feel cold and hug you tight

There to listen to your nonstop stories

With you is the most important than properties

To see you getting old everyday is a scary thing

I don’t know what kind of sadness it would bring

Without you, life will be worthless

Without you I’ll be depress

As your daughter it’s my responsibility

To be your guardian when you lost the capacity

I will be there no matter what happens

Holdin’ and lovin’ you more ‘till the end

Untitled

People always have defect

Who among of us is perfect?

Always clean up your mind, to see the light

Listen and stand for what is right

To do bad things to anyone might put you in jail

Lies will never save you to hell

May act and talk like there’s nothing wrong

Lose the ability to feel the guilt that long

The mistakes you’ve done will correct only by you

Capabilities to tell the truth is hard for you

To change for the better is not yet too late

Listen to God’s will and forget the hate

The bad thing will going to forget

Truth will set you free.. I bet!

Meet Their Expectations

Life begins after Graduation

I survived to finish my studies

But now, I am going to face new situation

A new challenge and duties

Responsibility as a student was done

But, responsibility as a daughter has begun

An obligation that shouldn’t take for fun

A task that you’ll never escape even if you run

This time I must become more matured

Be a financial burden is not in my plan

To find a decent work to be secured

I will do everything that I can

To help them to survive in this life

Is now my lifetime obligation

I feel the pressure just like I am crossing in a knife

‘Coz I don’t know if I can meet their expectations..

Balik Tanaw

Sa lugar kung saan ikaw laging natatanaw

Ala-ala sa aking isipan muling pumukaw

Buwan na ‘din ang lumipas nang ika’y lumisan

Pangungulila ng puso ko’y lubusan

‘Tila kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat

Sa puso’t isip ko’y sariwa pa ang sugat

Walang araw na ‘di kita naiisip

Nakikita ka maging sa panaginip

Minsan sa aking pagtulog ika’y nagparamdam

‘Tila may nais sabihin at ipaalam

Sa isipan may nabuong katanungan

Sagot sa tanong ikaw lang ang makakatugon

Nais ko sana’y ika’y magbalik

Sa halik at yakap mo’y nasasabik

Ipaparamdam pag-ibig na ‘di mo nakamtan

Kailanman ay ‘di kita malilimutan

Twelve Plans

First Plan is to enter school

                 To be not a fool

Second Plan is to finish high school

                       To be cool

Third Plan is to take Entrance Test

                    To prove that you’re the best

Fourth Plan is to finish College

                      To earn more knowledge

Fifth Plan is to find a decent work

                  To be not a jerk

Sixth Plan is to help my parents and siblings

                   As my sign of thanks giving

Seventh Plan is to live life to the fullest

                       To do everything in my list

Eighth Plan is to get married

                       To feel alone is unworried

Ninth Plan is to have children

                   To have a grandchildren

Tenth Plan is to support their needs

                    Without selling a weeds

Eleventh Plan is to recede

                    It’s time to concede

Twelfth Plan is to wait for the time you’ll die

                        Last chance to say good bye…

           Life is too short, do not waste it..

Unspoken

I have a lot of words to tell

At the mountain I want to yell

To ease the pain

Inside of me I was drain

I tried to express what I feel

I want this hurt to heal

To forget this is difficult

To someone I consult

But, instead to feel better

They just make me feel bitter

They’ll never understand my situation

Until they feel the same frustration

To keep this alone is the best decision

Never told anyone about my condition

In outside I’m okay but inside I’m broken

Because of those words remain unspoken..

I Can Do ‘Coz It’s Me

Everyone thinks that I can’t do

But I know to myself it’s not true

Everyone thinks I’m a failure

But I know they’re just insecure

Everyone thinks I’m a loser

But I know they’re a user

Everyone thinks that I’m a dumb

But I know they’re a numb

Everyone thinks I’m just a junk

But I know they’re a punk

Everyone thinks that they can put me down

But I know to myself that I can wear the crown

I know to myself that I can

I’m just following my plan

I know to myself that I am the achiever

Because I’m not a cheater

I know to myself that I am smart

On my own I’ll start

I know to myself that I’m going to be success

By that time, to me you were going to confess

Someday I’ll prove to all of you that you’re wrong

That behind of those situations I can be strong

I will be the person that you don’t want me to be

The one who will be sitting in the throne is me

Reflection

I know exactly what I wanted to be

To express it I was not free

I want to show the real me inside

But someone who has already decide

On what should I do

Even if it makes me feel blue

On what should I speak

That makes me feel weak

On what should I looks like

That makes me feel fake

I want this pretending be done

Or else I want this life be gone

To know myself more is ruin

Seems like I don’t know what I’m doin’

The real me was burned

And no one else was concerned

To show the real me is a choice

I want them hear my voice

Even someone might feel the pain

‘Coz they’re expecting me to reign

I look in the mirror

To see it much clearer

That I am going to the right direction

The real me will be seen in the reflection

Revenge

You hate me from the very first

In front of me you always cursed

You always spreading false stories

But I didn’t attack you in your territories

You always destroying my image

Everyone thinks I’m a stinky garbage

You’re happy when you saw me suffering

What I’ve done to you, I’m just wondering

Still, I remain silent I did nothing

Never waste my time on those thing

Until one day I reach my limit

To ruin my career you don’t have the permit

I face you because of those accusations

I can’t take it, all the bad impressions

From head to toe you gave me a bad stare

And laugh at me doesn’t have any care

To see me miserable is your happiness

To put people down is your expertise

You count every people you’ve demolished

For you it’s a mission accomplished

But I know everything is just temporary

As long as He is with me I don’t need to worry

One day I will have the courage

To rise above you is my best revenge

Don’t Keep It Aside

You have the talent

But you choose to remain silent

You have the potential

Knowing that you’re special

You just keep on hiding it

Afraid to be judge by it

Imagining how people would react

You may attract them and not to distract

People thinks you’re nobody

Without thinking that you can be somebody

They’re thinking you can do nothing

Until you prove something

One day you did something they didn’t expect

Everyone was amaze saying you’re perfect

You feel glad for all the compliments

And you think you need some improvements

Because for you it was not enough

For you it was just a bluff

You think all the praises was a trick

Change your mindset or else you’ll got sick

Be proud your ability

Do all your best in all the activity

In this world, you can’t hide

Let them see it, don’t keep it aside

By: Rochelle Parnay Estrella